Parenting Success

Powerful Parenting: 7 Tips for Success

1. All You Need is Love

Well, not all you need, but love and encouragement are the foundation of a child’s feelings of self-worth. Knowing he is loved unconditionally is the first step in helping him navigate the road to independence and self-governance. “Every child has a primary language of love, a way in which he or she understands a parent’s love,” reads the introduction of The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary D. Chapman and Ross.

  • Learn your child’s love language and use it.
  • Encourage her efforts as well as her performance.
  • Look for opportunities to praise and acknowledge him.

2. Be Present

Spending meaningful time with your child in today’s busy world is an important challenge. But no matter how hectic your life is, there are some ways to make sure you stay connected.  

  • Eat at least one meal together per day.
  • Set aside time with each of your children, one on one.
  • Listen! Listen! Listen! The most important you can do is listen.

3. Set rules

Allow your children some input into house rules about chores, bedtimes, TV and computer use. Kids need a sense of self-control, and setting limits helps them learn how.

  • Make certain your child knows your expectations.
  • Praise your child when he follows the rules.
  • Establish logical consequences, not arbitrary punishments.

4. Be consistent

Don’t get drawn into a power struggle and don’t negotiate. Remember, though, this isn’t a power trip: it’s about guidance. You can always put the toys away yourself if it comes to that. What’s important is that the toys have been put away; no pouting or whining will change that.

  • Respond swiftly when your child breaks a rule.
  • Stay calm in response to tantrums, whining, door-slamming.
  • If you’re losing your temper, take a break.

5. Resolve conflicts

Be aware of tensions between you and your children. Don’t let anger and resentment build. Develop ground rules for handling conflict. Make sure everyone knows them. Then address issues as they come up.

  • Stay focused on the issue.
  • Listen carefully.
  • Brainstorm solutions.

6. Teach responsibility

Give children opportunities to make a contribution to the household. Encourage problem-solving and independent thinking by allowing them to experience the results of their actions or failures to act.

  • Assign age-appropriate chores. Have the little ones put away toys and the older ones set the table.
  • Don’t automatically correct his mistakes; let him try to work through them.
  • Resist bailing her out if she leaves her math assignment at home.

7. Model good behavior

Your children watch you all the time: your tone of voice, your actions, your attitudes. If you’re the type to fly off the handle, then how can you preach anger management? The Golden Rule isn’t out of fashion yet!

  • Be kind and respectful.
  • Keep your promises.
  • Apologize when appropriate.

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