Thoughts

Divorce Survival Boot Camp – Combat Your Anger, Instead of Your Ex

Get Up Off the Mat

Surviving divorce can lead to “poor me” moments. Those times that the car won’t start, the kids won’t stop, and your patience goes south. Or when the basement floods, the power goes out and you need to leave for the airport in an hour. All worth a cry or a rant. But if you frequently feel wronged or short-changed, you may be taking on the mantle of a victim. Seeing yourself in that light is the opposite of empowering. Shift your focus to the things for which you’re grateful, momentous or miniscule. Rely on your stockpile of blessings to lift you up. Step out of the ring.

Are you still doing battle after your divorce? If you find yourself carrying on an argument (literally or figuratively) with your ex, it’s time to disengage. You’re not letting your ex off the hook; you’re freeing yourself. Instead of shadowboxing, take kickboxing. Belt out a tune, hammer a tent stake, pound a lump of clay. Releasing righteous anger can be energizing, but holding on to animosity is debilitating.

Take a Victory Lap

Redefine success. Instead of winning an argument or a concession, lose yourself in the pleasure of a deep relaxation massage or the joy of a stellar night out with your most entertaining friends. Consider yourself a winner every time you derail an urge either to feel sorry for yourself or fury at your ex. Celebrate your masterful redirection of negativity, your skill at charting your own course. Rather than harbor resentment, set out for the sea of possibilities waiting just for you.

©2015 Alpha Resource Center

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